General

3 STEPS TO A STRONG FAMILY. Linda and Richard Eyre, 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life happier, less stressful and more rewarding.

FAMILYHOOD: NURTURING THE VALUES THAT MATTER. Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communicating values.

GETTING TO YES, NEGOTIATING AGREEMENT WITHOUT GIVING IN. Fisher & Ury, Houghton Mifflin Co., 1981. An excellent base for cooperative problem solving. Everyone should read it.

NEGOTIATING LOVE: HOW WOMEN AND MEN CAN RESOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES. Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. Points out destructive habits by both sexes which, when realized, strengthen families and relationships.

THE SIBLING SOCIETY. Robert Bly, 1996. Author of "Iron John". Describes our culture as one where adults remain children and children have no desire to become adults — a nation of squabbling siblings.

Divorce and Beyond

CRAZY TIME: SURVIVING DIVORCE. (Trafford), 1982. A step-by-step guide to understanding the predictable emotional passages of men and women after a marriage ends.

DIVORCE HANGOVER: A STEP-BY-STEP PRESCRIPTION FOR CREATING A BRIGHT FUTURE AFTER YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS. Walther, Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster, 1991. A caring, practical guide to identify and move through divorce, its after math and beyond. Helpful workbook exercises included.

FRESH STARTS: MEN & WOMEN AFTER DIVORCE. Cauhape, Basic Books, 1983. Good description of patterns of adaptation after divorce (particularly at mid-life) and the ways people used this crisis as a springboard to growth.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT. Harville Hendrix, 1988 & 1990. A guide for couples. Psychological aspects of marriage and love.

HELPING YOUR KIDS COPE WITH DIVORCE. M. Gary Neuman, 1996. This book is based on the nationally "renowned" "Sandcastles" workshop.

HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE. Coigrove, Bloomfield & McWilliams, Prelude Press, also Bantam Books, 1991. Excellent short pieces to give information many of us need and the understanding and support we all need.

LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO. Melanie Beaffie.

LEARNING TO LEAVE. Lynette Triere, 1982. A woman's guide. Divorce counseling through your greatest time of stress.

NECESSARY LOSSES. Judith Viorsi. The loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION - A LANGUAGE OF COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION. Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. Order from CNVC, P. 0. Box 2662, Sherman, Texas 75091 Phone 1 — 800-255-7696. A wonderful approach to communication from the heart which can promote in a path to a more peaceful self.

PUTTING KIDS FIRST. Michael Oddenino. A must read for caring parents and professionals, by Children Rights Council. Includes a children's bill of rights.

SECOND CHANCES. Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. and Sandra Blakeslee, 1989. Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on adults and children.

SURVIVING THE BREAK-UP. HOW CHILDREN AND PARENTS COPE WITH DIVORCE. Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid in discussing the problems of children being raised by single parents.

THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING DIVORCE. Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996.

THE DARK SIDE OF THE LIGHT CHASERS. Debbie Ford. Highly recommended personal growth book on understanding the value of our shadow sides

Parenting and Co-parenting

50/50 PARENTING. Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co-parents and 83 children report on life in married, divorced and step-family situations.

BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE. A Guide to Civilized Divorce, Lois Gold, 1992. Focuses on the adult experience of divorce.

CREATING A SUCCESSFUL PARENTING PLAN. Dr. A. Jayne Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough Parenting" and "Winning the Custody War Without Casualties".

DIVORCE: CRISIS. CHALLENGE OR RELIEF?. David A. Chiriboga and Linda S. Carton, 1991. Addresses the impact of divorce on children through different stages of their lives.

DIVORCE BOOK FOR PARENTS. Vicki Lansky, 1989. Focuses on children's reactions to divorce and parenting issues.

DIVORCED DADS. SHATTERING THE MYTHS. Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The surprising truth about fathers, children and divorce.

DIVORCED KIDS: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO HELP YOUR KIDS SURVIVE A DIVORCE. Johnson & Rosenfeld, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1990. Arizona authors give sound guidelines and suggestions to minimize damage to children plus positive steps to take toward recovery. Includes a letter to their children from former clients of The Family Mediation Center.

FAMILIES APART. Melinda Blau, 1993. 10-Keys to Successful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal information.

FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. Kris Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses how to share your children with you ex-spouse despite your anger.

HOW TO SINGLE PARENT. Dodson, Harper & Row, 1987. How to be a single parent and still take care of yourself. Leads reader through each stage and stress of child's development while giving help to cope.

JOINT CUSTODY WITH A JERK: RAISING A CHILD WITH AN UNCOOPERATIVE EX. By Julie Ross and Judy Corcoran, 1996. Raising a child with an uncooperative co-parent is a difficult task and can make post-divorce parenting extremely frustrating while also creating a climate of conflict for children. By accepting that it is difficult, a parent may make it easier. Knowing what problems are not worth one's energy and knowing which to solve frees one to move on, to have more fun, and feel better in general.

KIDS FIRST PARENTING PLAN: A CHILD CARE PLANNING GUIDE FOR SEPARATING AND DIVORCING PARENTS. Chet Muklewicz and Doreen Graziano, KIDS FIRST Publisher, 1999. This book(let) is one of a wide range of self-help books published over the past decade for parents who are going through separation and divorce. Written jointly by a family therapist and a family lawyer, it offers both the psychological and legal perspectives needed for parents to be fully informed for making the critical decisions in developing a parenting plan.

MOM'S HOUSE, DAD'S HOUSE. Isolina mcci, Ph.D., 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make two homes for their children after divorce.

THE DIVORCED DAD DILEMMA. Gerald S. Mayer, Ph.D., 1994. Desert City Press, Phoenix, AZ. A father's guide to understanding, grieving and growing beyond the losses of divorce and to developing a deeper, ongoing relationship with his children.

THE DIVORCE HELP SOURCE BOOK. Margorie Engel, 1994. Combines sound advice with hundreds of potential sources of help to assist you in getting the results you deserve.

THE NURTURING FATHER. Pruett, Wamer Books, 1987. Describes the benefits-to everyone- and pleasures-for everyone-of fathers' deepened involvement with their children. Becoming a classic. Also discusses fathers as primary care givers.

THE UNEXPECTANCY LEGACY OF DIVORCE - A 25 YEAR LANDMARD STUDY. Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., Julia M. Lewis and Sandra Blakeslee, 2000. The best selling book that says many children of divorce suffer long-term effects from divorce.

WHY PARENTS DISAGREE: HOW WOMEN AND MEN PARENT DIFFERENTLY AND HOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHER. Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents begin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as partners, not enemies.

For The Children

Ask for librarians' choice list from the 'Positive Parenting Series: Divorce & Your Child.

A HEART FULL OF LOVE. Bette S. Margolis and Christie Kline. A wonderful book for that special 7 to 9 year-old in your life who is undergoing parental divorce.

DADDY DAY, DAUGHTER DAY. Larry and Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both a child's and a father's perspective.

HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH DIVORCE. Edward Teyber, 1992. What to do and what not to do to make divorce as painless as possible for children.

HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR PARENT'S DIVORCE: KIDS ADVICE TO KIDS. Gaye Kimball, 1994. Easy to read, one of a kind guide for young people and their parents as they reshape their lives post-divorce.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN.... Elizabeth Hickey and James Cohen, 1998.

I THINK DIVORCE STINKS. Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative feelings about divorce and to express those feelings.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, KOKO BEAR. Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko bear can help children understand divorce and sends a good message.

MY BOOK. MY SELF FOR BOYS. Linda and Area Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My Body for Boys."

THE BOYS AND GIRLS BOOK ABOUT DIVORCE. Gardner, Bantam Books, 1970. Excellent for middle school through early adolescence. Directly discusses fears and problems children may face. Good advice on how to deal with divorce issues. Also good facilitating device for discussion re the divorce.

THE DIVORCE WORKBOOK. Sally Ives, David Fassler & Michelle Lasch, 1985. How to facilitate honest and open communication between adults and children at the traumatic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids.

The Adult Child Of A Divorce

A HOLE IN MY HEART. Claire Berman, 1991. A book that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role they play in changing patterns in their lives.

THE ADULT CHILDREN OF DIVORCE WORKBOOK: A COMPASSIONATE PROGRAM FOR HEALING FROM YOUR PARENTS' DIVORCE. Hirschfeld, Jeremy Tarcher, Inc., 1991. Unique, practical explanation of symptoms of unresolved issues of parental divorce with advice and exercises to overcome those issues.

GROWING UP DIVORCED: A ROAD TO HEALING FOR ADULT CHILDREN OF DIVORCE. Fassel, Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster, 1991. Identifies ten characteristics of adult children of divorce and five, basic types of divorce. Uses case studies to recognize and deal with those characteristics.

Adult Education Courses

The Franciscan Renewal Center (Casa) on Lincoln Drive, Scottsdale, offers many fine programs for the divorcing or divorced. One highly recommended course is called "Divorced? Separated? Can't Decide?" There is also a weekend seminar for singles that many have recommended.

FAMILY MEDIATION CENTER
7520 E. 2nd St., Suite 3
Scottsdale, AZ 85251
(480) 949-9511

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